I Did A Thing (FINAL PART!)
And what a thing it was...
Note: This is the final part of a four-part anthology on my journey through paragliding pilot training. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed living it. ICYMI, here’s part one, part two, and part three.
After each of my long flights, me and the other pilots would chit-chat at the landing site as we got our gliders wrapped. We would share our experience, talk about how it felt, what went right and what went wrong, and so on. And I would never know what to say.
While the others would share how amazing it was for them, how they could do this for the rest of their lives. I, on the other hand, would mostly feel like I’m glad that I landed safely. I mean, yeah, I had a great flight, but I’m glad I’m back here and that I can go back to base and chill out for a bit.
And this would happen after each flight. I kept waiting for the moment when I would feel like them. When I could also say that fuck yes, it was amazing, and I wish I could stay up in the air all my life. And no, it never came.
I started wondering if paragliding really was for me or not. Was there something wrong with me? Did I just not feel it feel it? Was I too scared or afraid to be in the air? I didn’t have any answers. And I didn’t force myself to come up with any answers. I decided to feel whatever it was that I was feeling and just go with it.
And I think I did the right thing.
Incidentally, that first boss of mine, was also in Kamshet around the time I was about to get done with my course. In fact, I even met him at one of the takeoff sites and we spoke for a while and it was great seeing him after like some 15 years. That day, unfortunately, due to extremely high wind, we couldn’t fly. We waited and waited but we had to come back by road. They call this part ‘parawaiting’. Sweet.
On my last day, when I’d had my best flight, from a hill where on one side you got this huge ass windmills and on the other side you have these endless fields and lakes, I sat down with my boss and we spoke. I told him about how I felt and asked him if it was normal to feel scared and confused about my time in the air.
And he told me that even after 20 years of flying, he still feels scared. There is a little bit of fear that they all deal with. But that is exactly what keeps them going back to flying. In fact, he said that having a bit of fear is very important to practice this sport. It keeps you on your toes and helps you stay away from reckless behaviour. And that, in turn, helps you stay alive and injury free.
That made sense. There was a fear in me. I was scared. For sure. But I still kind of wanted to go back and feel all of that again. It’s weird but that’s how it was. I mean, I was glad that I got to do what I set out to do. And even if I don’t fly again in my life, I know I had that experience that I’ll forever cherish.
But, as time has passed, my resolve to go back to flying, my ‘need’ to face that fear again, is only getting stronger and stronger. Honestly, I really don’t know if I’ll be able to take this sport up as a hobby in my life. This sport needs a lot of time and money for you to pursue it. While I’m going to try and design my life to make it happen, it’s going to be fucking tough and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it happen.
That said, I can always go back for another 10 days, do a quick refresher, and then fly every day for a week or so. That’s something that I could do once a year, no? And that’s good enough for me. If I get to do more, nothing like. If I don’t get to do even this, I can live with that. But I know now, in spite of all the fear, in spite of all the nervousness, there’s just some magic in flying that keeps pulling you back.
↓ Takeoff from Tower Hill West, which goes over the Mumbai-Pune Expressway. ↓
All the experienced pilots were right in warning me. That if you get hooked to this sport, it takes over your bloody life. You forget about everything else. You just want to fly and you work towards making that happen. It impacts your relationships, your job, your money -- everything.
And I get it now. Looking back at this experience, 3 months after it happened, I know I want to go back. I feel more confident. Flying feels more familiar. I know how it’s done. I know what it takes. And I know what you get out of it.
It did indeed change my life. I quit my job the moment I got back to work. I mean, I was anyway planning to do it. But after this experience, I knew I couldn’t spend more than half my life on something that I didn’t love. I was high on life and nothing could stop me.
Mentally, I’m still riding the high and trying not to worry about the shit things in life. Flying so high in the sky (I even flew over the Mumbai-Pune Expressway) gives you perspective. Of what life can be. Of what you can experience. Of the magic that is there in the world.
When you’re flying, nothing else matters. Your life on Earth, your family, your job, your money, your home, your dog, your clothes, the parties you go to, the fights you have with friends, the car you drive, the work you do -- for the duration of your flight, all of that ceases to exist. It’s just you, your glider, and the wind in your hair. It’s an escape like no other. And it’s great.
It’s really very hard to explain these feelings as there’s no parallel to that here on land. A few people I’ve spoken to have told me that Scuba Diving is similar. It helps you escape into this world which is so far away, so different from the world you live in every day.
I only wish I could do more of it. And I also wish more people could experience these feelings.
What we stress about in this world, in our lives, over petty little things -- seem so small and insignificant when you’re flying. It’s a fresh breath of air. It’s a welcome change. It’s a dimension of this life that is completely unique. And I am fortunate that I got the opportunity to experience it.
To all my friends, family, teachers, old bosses, cheerleaders, supporters, fellow pilots; to my partner without whose support and motivation I couldn’t have done it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this journey.
Until next time. Happy flying!
Again, this is awesome Rach 🙌🏼